Just do it already

Right now it's 11 p.m. EST on Tuesday October 26, 2010.

How do Wade Phillips, with his 1-5 record, and Norv Turner and his 2-5 record still have jobs?

Sure, when the playoffs come, these two are expected to choke worse than Lawrence Fishburne's daughter at a deep-throating convention, but to start the season off with a combined 3-10 record, this is unbelievable.

Both teams were on a short list of favorites to represent their respective conferences in the Super Bowl.

Jerry Jones had grand plans for the 'Boys to have a home game for the Super Bowl.

The Chargers were expected to come out hungry after being upset by the Jets last January.

Really what is going to happen is that there is no chance they make the playoffs now, but they will start winning games and take them out of position for a top-10 pick. Both teams will have picks in the teens and this season will be a complete bust. If you are going to lose you might as well get something good out of it.

Let's look at some reasons why these teams stink:

Dallas:

Miles Austin is dating Kryptonite Kim.
Felix Jones is not a legit featured back.
Romo is simply a good fantasy quarterback.
Jimmy Johnson couldn't even win Survivor.
Their kick returner's name is Akwasi Owusu-Ansah and is from IUP. I know people that went to IUP, enough said.
Dez Bryant's mom was a hooker.
Wade Phillips' dad's name is a direct adjective that describes Wade as a coach - Bum
Emmitt Smith's HOF speech was way too long.
Emmitt Smith stopped using Just for Men.


San Diego:

Philip "cry me a" Rivers is a douche
Vincent Jackson held out, so did Marcus McNeill
Ryan Mathews is not ready to carry a full workload
Shawn Merriman is still on the payroll
Tom has grown an awful beard
L.T. wasn't washed up
Norv Turner has a turkey neck
The Padres choked
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina