The Right Kind of Drama

As I watched the last couple episodes of HBO's "Entourage" I couldn't shake one thought; I miss Drama. Not the drama of Ari trying to convince the celebrity website Gawker and his female rival Amanda and former underling Lizzie not to release audio tapes of him using language fit for a George Carlin show. Supposedly these revelations would put Ari in hot water with the family. Are we really supposed to believe that his family would be shocked by his language? I think this shock would be comparable to Jets CB Antonio Cromartie's inability to name his eight children and their ages, three all the age of three is really something to think about? There is also plenty drama surrounding A-list movie star Vincent Chase and his relationship with porn star Sasha Grey and his hard partying lifestyle. I guess a cocaine habit, drinking tequila all day to the point of passing out and taking your porn star girlfriend to a meeting with your potential boss is not a great career move and thankfully we have "Entourage" to point that out. You don't need to ask someone who had a Martin Kaymer PGA Championship future bet how this storyline is is going to end for Vince. This season has also brought us another underwhelming Turtle storyline along the lines of past storylines like his search for weed, managing a rapper, and going to college. This season Turtle's entrance into the importing business has enabled the show to turn into a half-hour tequila comercial. The trips to Mexico and the secretive "boss" that Turtle deals with tries to convey the feeling that you are following George Young while he travels to Columbia to meet Pablo Escobar for the first time and then you realize the product is legal and this storyline was already done on "How to Make it in America". At least Turtle has a hot girlfriend you say, that is correct and wasn't a compelling storyline when his girlfriend was Jamie Lynn Sigler and hasn't been compelling in the "E"/Sloan storyline either.

The show needs more Johnny Drama; he steals every scene he is in as evidenced by his opening scene with a random lady on last Sunday's episode "Tequilla and Coke". This season he has been as under-utilized as a girlfriend for Anderson Cooper or a running back in a Mike Martz offense. He is the heart of the show and brings much needed comic relief; high points this season have been his ping pong games with John Stamos and him threatening Bob Saget with a baseball bat.


We can only hope his animated show with director Billy Walsh focuses more camera time on his story as opposed to Turtle and the Maxim girl and the overdone movie star gone over the edge. Enough with the guest stars, if I wanted to see Jessica Simpson I would be the third person ever to watch "Employee of the Month" and if I wanted to see Chris Bosh I would look in the background of a Lebron James or Dewayne Wade interview.

Let's take a look back at the personal chef, trainer to the stars, bodyguard, and Tarvold; star of "Viking Quest" with the tagline "From the past.....comes a warrior of the future." Johnny played the role of Tarvold to award winning acclaim (Razzie) which led to parts on 21 Jump Street, Pac Blue, Nash Bridges, Melrose Place, and 90210 to name a few. He begins to steal the spotlight in the first season when he comes on stage to accept an apology from Jimmy Kimmel during Vince's appearence on the show. In Season 2 we find out he was banned from the Playboy mansion (along with double digit IQ's) and is considering calf implants, but only if the surgeon accepts SAG insurance. He also appears at Comic Con is season 2 in full Tarvold costume and wows the crowd with his famous line VICTORY!!!!


Drama catches his big break in Season 3 when he lands a job as a regular on the TV show "Five Towns" and his back and forth with show creator Ed Burns is as entertaining as his scenes for the fictional show that leave "Entourage" fans searching the guide for "Five Towns".


"Viking Quest's" popularity in France leads to Drama meeting his girlfriend Jacqueline there while attending Canes, he seals his popularity with the French by having sex in public on a beach while his fans cheer him on. His season five breakdown on "The View" after his breakup with the obsessed Jacqueline was the funniest thing ever associated with "The View". Also in season 5 a hometown Queens bar is renamed "Johnny Drama's" after he invests his money and star power to the owner who needs to settle a gambling debt. Drama is also involved in a heated match on the golf course in season six with Mark Wahlberg and Tom Brady and shows in that episode that "Entourage" can have guest stars as long as they play off Drama's lead.


Season six left us with high expectations as Drama left "Five Towns" and got a network holding deal after his re-audition for the new "Melrose Place" after an anxiety attack and mild heart attack lost him the initial role.


The show is becoming a little too familar and the only person who can save this season and next year's half season of episodes from the same old character stories, LA hot spots, and the never ending list of guest stars is Drama. What storyline would be unbelievable or un-entertaining for the Mets and U2 fan and the guy who is a little too big of a Brooke Shields fan?