Here Comes the Sun

As the summer is winding down, and we are approaching the sports bonanza that is the Fall, but there is another phenomena that will also soon be taking place. The Fall T.V. lineup.

With some of my favorites returning: The Office, The Big Bang Theory, East Bound and Down and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, t.v. can be just as exciting as sports.

But on September 16 at 10 p.m. It's Always Sunny will begin its 6th season. I can remember when I refused to watch this show because it took place in Philly. At that time, as I have probably made myself clear by now, I totally despised everything about Philthydelphia. The Eagles, the Flyers, and especially the fans. So even though it was touted as Seinfeld on crack, I refused to watch the show. A roommate of mine in college, the same clown that picked the Arsenal as his new favorite English Premier team, tried to convince me to watch the show when Danny DeVito joined in Season 2. Still I refused. I finally gave in during Season 3 for the Invincible episode and the first appearance of Green Man.

Since that time I was hooked. Thursdays used to be my favorite nights of the week. Go out to the bars early, get hammered, come back home, order food, and watch Tivoed episodes of Sunny and The Office. Times don't get much better than that. Now Thursdays are downers in that you still have to get through Friday before its the weekend. Atleast when Sunny is on, it gives you hope you can get through Friday.

Since my baptism in the most politically incorrect show on television, I have seen every episode. From The Gang gets Racist to the Christmas special I have seen them all. And seen them numerous times.

In my opinion Seasons 1 and 3 were the best, followed by Season 2. Season 4 was by far the worst. It seemed as though they were trying too hard to find that magic that they previously had. Trying too hard to push the boundaries by commenting on social issues and subsequently getting away from what made Sunny, Sunny. Season 5 seemed to be working back towards the roots of the show. Focusing more on the characters than worldly situations.

Through the years we have met the McPoyles and Rickety Cricket, the waitress and Artemis, but through it all the Gang has remained the lovable assholes that we have come to know. With that said, and sticking with my infatuation with lists, I will run down my Top-10 favorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes.

Honorable mentions: The Gang Gives Back, The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis, The Gang Reignites a Rivalry


10. The Night Man Cometh (Season 4, Episode 13)

I've talked to a lot of people about this show, and a lot of people have said this was their favorite episode. I'm not saying that I was on board with this show since episode 1, but a lot of people started catching on with this show in season 4, with this being one of the better episodes in that season. As I stated earlier, season 4 was weak, but it did have some high points like this episode.

Charlie revisits Electric Dream Machine's song Day Man and creates and entire play based on the lyrics. He does all of this in order to gain the attention of the waitress, who in real-life is Charlie's actual wife, and get her to come to the show.

My favorite part is when Frank, dressed up as a troll, is supposed to say the lines, "You gotta pay the troll toll to get inside this boy's soul." But instead says it with a cadence that makes it sound like, "You gotta pay the troll toll to get inside this boy's hole." Classic Sunny humor. Absolutely hilarious.





9. The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention (Season 5, Episode 4)

The whole episode focuses, on an out of control Frank and his need for an intervention. First he goes to a family picnic and smokes a "bone." Then he gets completely hammered off of wine in a can and hooks up with his niece. All the while he is trying to "bang" his dead ex-wife's sister, as Mac also vies for her attention .

The gang tries to get him help from a real psychiatrist and intervener, but because of their drunken antics and lack of respect for her occupation, they scare her away. Instead they decide to perform their own intervention and scare the behavior out of him.

It is also revealed that Charlie and his roommate Frank used to play "night crawlers" a game in which they would slither and slide on the ground of their room like worms. But because of Frank's out of control behavior, they haven't played their beloved game in a while.

The funniest part of the episode has to be the Gail the Snail parts. Gail is Dee and Dennis' weirdo cousin, who they through salt at when she gets too close. Then they blame her for them throwing the salt, saying, "What kind of person would make someone throw salt on them."





8. The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation (Season 3, Episode 6)

This episode has to do with a Philadelphia Bar Crawl that normally ends at Paddy's and draws in their most clientale all year. This year, however, a new Korean restaurant that serves a microbrew is becoming the last stop, and thus taking a lot of money away from Paddy's.

To find out what makes this microbrew so good Dennis, wearing a duster, and Charlie go to the restaurant to gather some intel. And delivering one of the best moments in the shows history.

I couldn't find an actual video of their conversation, but here is a typography of the banter.





7. Hundred Dollar Baby (Season 2, Episode 5)

A la Seinfeld, this episode has two simultaneous story lines that converge into each other at the end. The first one, a spoof on Clint Eastwood's Oscar winning Million Dollar Baby has Frank training Dee at the gym. The other story has Dennis and Mac training Charlie for an underground fighting tournament.

Frankie Fast Hands, as he was known in his amateur boxing days, is training Dee because she wants to be able to defend herself, after the rest of the gang leaves her stranded in an alley with a meth head. While at the gym, Frank runs into an old boxing rival, who happens to also be training his own daughter. After a war of words, a fight is scheduled for Dee and the other girl. The fight is billed as Beauty and the Beast 2. Dee then runs into a shady girl, who offers to sell her steroids. Dee accepts based on the premise that she will be able to kill a guy after she is done with they cycle.

While this is going on, Dennis and Mac are trying to get Charlie ready for an underground street fight. They deduce that it isn't the guy that is a better fighter that wins these battles, but the guy who can take the most punishment. They both decide that Charlie is the toughest guy they know and can handle a beating and win them all money. After getting good and drunk, they start to pound on Charlie, who not surprisingly is gung ho with the whole idea.

Charlie then comes across Dee's steroids and starts consuming them himself. Dee and Charlie both end up becoming crazed monsters because of the pills and thus land themselves in jail after a confrontation with each other. This leaves Mac and Frank to have to get in the ring and finish the fights they start.





6. Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare (Season 2, Episode 3)

Here we have Dennis and Dee getting fired from Paddy's, so they file for unemployment and are accepted. Because it is so easy to get "free" money, they decide to follow their dreams; Dennis wants to become a vet, and Dee an actress. Once they realize that unemployment runs out, they decide to go on welfare.

They get drunk all day and sit on their stoop drinking 40s. With her new money, Dee buys a gold cross necklace which she refers to as her Jesus Chain.

To get welfare, Dennis pretends to be a recovering crackhead, and Dee his retarded sister. When they are questioned by the lady at the welfare office, Dennis finds out that he needs to have a blood test to prove he was a crack addict. Because he has no crack in his blood, they decide to buy and smoke some rock.

Hilarity ensues as they pull their Range Rover up to the ghetto to buy the crack. Dennis, after making some unintential, but hilarious racial remarks, gives the black guy $200 for 2 crack rocks.

They both smoke the crack and become addicted. In a part that is very subtle but very funny, Dennis, an aspiring veterinarian, swings at a dog as it nuzzles up to him after he passes out from being too high. Those are the little things that make this show so funny.





5. Who Pooped the Bed (Season 4, Episode 7)

Cause Poop's funny. That's really all you need to know about this episode. Basically, someone poops in Frank and Charlie's bed. After a CSI effort to figure out who did it, Frank finally admits to crapping the bed and when asked why he did it, he responds, Cause Poop's Funny.

And guess what, it is. Poop is really funny.





4. The Gang Gets Racist (Season 1, Episode 1)

What can you say, this show opened with a bang. Completely politically and racially insensitive. The gang bags on blacks and gays all in a way that is intolerant, yet funny as hell simply because of their ignorance.

So the premise is that Paddy's is struggling mightily to bring in customers. So Dee, at one of her acting classes, meets a black man that she is attracted to and he happens to be a club promoter. Upon first meeting Dee's new friend, Mac makes a comment that black people are all related.

Anyways, the promoter does his job and Paddy's is packed with patrons. The only problem is that Paddy's Pub is now the hottest gay bar in Philly. The bar makes a ton of money. Dennis, who is getting tons of attention from the gay men, and Charlie who likes making money, accept that Paddy's is now a gay bar and embrace the fact that they will make more money than they ever had. Mac, who is homophobic, and Dee, who is not getting tipped because the men are not attracted to her, want Paddy's to go back to the way it used to be.

Dennis fully embraces the gay attention, and dresses in tank tops to please the crowd, which prompts Mac to declare him the Belle of the Ball.

In the end, Mac and Dee get Dennis black-out drunk, and he wakes up the next morning in bed, making him change his vote and have Paddy's turned back into an Irish bar.



3. The Gang Gets Invincible (Season 3, Episode 2)

Playing off of the Mark Wahlberg film Invincible, the Gang enters a try out for the Philadelphia Eagles. They are promised a camp that will offer them a chance to make the team, as well as meet Donovan McNabb. Turns out that it was just some random black guy, and not McNabb, the real McNabb must have been busy losing NFC title games or something, and no one really had a shot at making the team.

While that part of the episode had its funny parts, the most memorable parts were Frank, as he tailgated the try-outs, dropping acid and getting stuck in the McPoyles RV, and of course there was the introduction of Green Man. A cult hero who has even made his presence at Vancouver Canucks' games.







2. Underage Drinking: A National Concern (Season 1, Episode 3)

So one night the bar notices a very big, but seemingly young crowd at Paddy's. At first they don't notice anything but the amount of money they are making, but soon find out, Paddy's has become the new bar for high school kids.

After talking through the moral issues of underage drinking, they decide that by watering down beers and charging double, they can make a fortune. They might as well let kids drink in their bar instead of "getting stabbed and raped in the park."

So it turns out that the Gang,except for Dennis, did not have a popular high school experience. Mac was an asshhole who just sold everyone weed, Charlie was the guy that made everyone laugh and would never be a threat to anyone's girlfriend, and Dee was a back brace wearing freak who puked on boys she liked.

So with high schoolers hanging at their bar, they try to relive high school and this time rewrite the script. Everyone except Mac is invited to Prom, although he decides to crash it anyway. Dennis and Dee become the prom dates of the most popular couple in school, who are using the Reynolds to make the other jealous. Charlie becomes a high school gossip machine, and he and Mac crash a party, with Mac acting like a complete drunken jerk as he tries to impress the young kids.

In the end only Charlie ends up making the Prom, but turns his date over to her ex-boyfriend. And he ends up dancing by himself to Forever Young.





1. Dee's Dating a Retarded Person (Season 3, Episode 9)

By far the funniest episode ever. Here is a run down of the funny moments.

Dee starts dating Philly's newest white rapper, Lil' Kev.

Apparently Dee refers to her friends as clowns. Upon meeting the group Lil' Kev goes, baby theys aint clowns.

Then the group tries to decide if Kevin has a little hand and that is why he is called Lil' Kev.

Dennis went to elementary school with Lil' Kev and he is definately retarded.

Mac, Charlie, and Frank decide to start a band. They won't let Dennis in because he is into '80s glam rock.

Mac wants the band to be named Chemical Toilet, because teenagers do meth and bang each other and chicks dig tough bands.

Frank wants to name the band the Pecan Sandies. It's a cookie, but also has a sexual reference. He says it will trick the parents into letting the teen girls "bop."

Charlie is the only one who has musical talent, dresses like Bob Dylan, and requests to be hidden by a curtain.

Charlie writes a song entitled "Night Man" which instead of written in words, is drawn in pictures. If you pause the show when the lyric sheet is shown, the pictures match perfectly with the spoken lyrics.



So Charlie gets kicked out of the band.

Dennis who has been on a crusade to prove Lil' Kev is retarded, joins the band and is quickly kicked out due to his outfit, and lack of muscial ability.

A dejected Dennis goes over to Charlie's apartment to find him depressed and huffing spray paint.

We are witness to the beginnings of Day Man. The antithesis of Night Man. Enjoy.



Then Dee asks Lil' Kev if he's retarded and he responds, Baby yous more mixed up than a milk shake.

Dennis and Charlie go on to perform Day Man.



Lil' Kev goes on to perform and dis Dee:

Let me tell y'all a story bout a girl I knew. A broke ass bitch with a gay ass crew. She said that I was cute, she said that I was funny, but the honey couldn't stop lookin at my money, Busted old lady with a flat tiny ass, body like a skeleton in science class, face beat up by the school of hard knocks, hair so fried and bleached by Clorox, Its like she's skinny, fat in all the wrong places, mothers gotta cover they babies faces, When she walks by people think she's Godzilla, Straight outa compton y'all, naw straight outa thrilla, Lookin like a zombie, walkin like a chicken, Mouth full of shit, that's why her breath be stinkin, Just one question Dee, before you take your bow, this gravy train's leavin, so who's retarded now?

But this is perhaps my favorite part of any Sunny episode ever. Just watch Charlie when he's questioned about his dental hygiene.





Come September 16th, I'm betting poop will still be funny.