A Rocky Road

In a rare un-Favrian headlined week in the NFL, the big story was future Hall of Famer Randy Moss being waived by the Vikings and picked up by the Titans. It's hard to believe that only the Titans would put in a waiver claim for the uber-talented receiver. This just goes to show you how far Moss' has fallen in such a short period of time.

Of course you have to like this move for the Titans, Moss may be one of the only human beings alive that Vince Young can't overthrow. With an actual threat on the outside, this can only help Chris Johnson and the Titan running game.

Does Jeff Fisher's mustache hold the secrets to controlling an always unpredictable Moss? I guess we will soon find out.

The other night I was sitting on the couch thinking back at Moss' career. The guy has had a wild ride. He's had more ups and downs than a meeting with Monica Lewinsky in the oval office.

I'm sitting there, knowing I want to post something about Moss and his current situation, trying to figure out another person or situation that can be successfully compared to Randy Moss and his time in the NFL. I'm racking my brain going through pop culture references, political references, sports references, you name it. Can't think of anything.

My brain is still working on overdrive, which these days doesn't take much, and I'm flipping through On Demand for a movie. Low and behold, the 1976 Academy Award winning Rocky is highlighted on the screen. Bingo.

So this is what I have come up with: Moss' career does not parallel that of Rocky Balboa's. Instead the comparison lays in the simularities between Moss and the franchise of Rocky films.

Humble Beginnings:

Randy Moss - High School and College years
Rocky - Pre-Production and Production

In both cases, very promising initial concepts fall into unpredictable circumstances. With Randy Moss you have what then Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz, presumably with a mouth full of cotton balls, said, "Randy Moss was the best high school football player I've ever seen." Former Florida State coach Bobby Bowden said of Moss, "He was as good as Deion Sanders. Deion's my measuring stick for athletic ability, and this kid was just a bigger Deion." Both coaches would get their crack at the kid from West Virginia.

The studio liked Sylvester Stallone's original script for Rocky. They felt it would be a good way to show case established stars such as Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal, Burt Reynolds, or James Caan. So we were this close to not having Stallone star in the film, not become an mega-star, and never have witnessed the cinimatical magic of Cliffhanger or Judge Dredd.

If you're like me, then you were under the impression that Moss went to Marshall straight out of high school. I always wondered why he wasn't recruited by big name schools. Turns out he was. In 1995, Moss signed a letter of intent to play for Notre Dame. That same year, Moss was involved in a racially heated fight in his high school. Randy was helping out a black friend who was racially insulted by a white person. Remember we are in West Virginia. Anyways, he was chared with a felony for kicking the white kid and sending him to the hospital, and was sentenced to 30 days in jail (Controversy #1). No way ND was going to stand for this, so they withdrew his application and Moss was without a team. Not so fast. Bobby Bowden and his ever accurate judgement of character came calling soon after. Moss joined the Seminoles but because of his transfer, he had to red-shirt his fresheman year. Moss, who ran a 4.25 40 during FSU camp, would never play a down for the Seminoles as he was kicked off the team for smoking weed and sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating his probation (Controversy #2).

Once released from jail, he went back to West Virginia to play for Marshall because he wouldn't have to sit out another year because the Thundering Herd were Division 1-AA. I know the argument will always be, "He played against inferior competition in college," "his numbers are inflated," "he had the Marino-esque Chad Pennington throwing to him." You know what that's all crap. Jerry Rice went to a small school too, and noone hates on Mississippi Valley State. Moss' numbers were Shaved-head Britney Spears insane. In two years, 28 games, he caught 174 balls for 3,529 yards and 54 TDs. Yeah.

While at Marshall he did happen to have some insightful comments about the infamous plane crash, "The plane crash was before my time. I don't try to go back in the past and say this football game is for the people in the plane crash. I've seen the burial ground. I went up there and looked at the names. It was a tragedy, but it really wasn't nothing big." (Controversy #3)

But even with those numbers he fell to 21st in the 1998 draft because teams were concerned with his "character" and of course they should have been. But the last time I checked NFL franchises are businesses. How do you measure success in business? Making more money. How do you make more money in the NFL? Win. How do you win in the NFL? Character guys. WRONG. You win with the best players. Obviously Moss was the best receiver by far but he went after Kevin Dyson, the guy who couldn't reach out for the endzone in Super Bowl XXXIV. Guess Tennessee wants another chance.

So there you have it, Moss' NFL career beginning with question marks. Rocky also started with question marks. Stallone wanted the role so bad, he wrote Rocky with himself in mind and knew the only way to get the film green lit with him as the lead was to make it for as cheap as possible. With a budget of $1 million, the studio agreed to make the movie with Stallone as the Italian Stallion.

Certain parts of the story were altered during filming. The original script had a darker tone: Mickey was portrayed as racist and the script ended with Rocky throwing the fight after realizing he did not want to be part of the professional boxing world after all. Casting wasn't easy either. The producers couldn't decide on who to cast as Adrian or Apollo. Originally former Heavy Weight champ Ken Norton was to play Apollo, but the role eventually went to former NFLer Carl Weathers. Weathers was a football player playing a boxer, Norton had a son that played in the NFL but thought he was a boxer.



I guess a fitting touchdown celebration. But I'm more partial to his teammate Merton Hanks' celebration. Even as a kid I thought he looked like he was in one of those African tribes that stack plates around their necks to stretch them.



Back to Rocky. So with a good script, but an unknown lead, changing scripts, and a low budget, question marks surrounded the production of this film.

Questions answered:

Randy Moss Rookie Season: 1998
Rocky: 1976

When Rocky was released in '76 Roger Ebert, and his thumbs, toted Stallone as a "young Marlon Brando." The film was a huge success; with a production budget of $1 million, the film eventually earned $225 million worldwide. Rocky was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won three including Best Actor and Best Director. I'll say that this risk was a success.

When he first entered the league Moss did nothing but help the Vikes to the #1 ranked offense in the league and a Gary Anderson missed field goal away from the Super Bowl. In his first career game, Moss caught 4 balls for 95 yards and 2 TDs. Did Dyson even catch 4 balls in his career? He went on to finish the year with 1,313 yards and 17 TDs to go along with his Offensive Rookie of the Year award. I'll say that this risk was a success.

Keep on Rollin':




Randy Moss: The Culpepper Years
Rocky: Rocky II

Rocky II kept the momentum built from the original and proved to not just be a good sequel but also a classic movie in its own. Rocky II showed that the sky was the limit for Balboa and Stallone. The film was excellent, considered one of the best of 1979 and was able to rake in over $106 million domestically at the box office. Not too shabby.

Everyone knows the story, after getting hate mail, Apollo challenges Rocky to another fight. Rocky, hurting financially, with a wife and a son on the way agrees to fight because that is the only way he can make money. Adrian worried about Rocky's health doesn't support his fighting, this causes Rocky to lose motivation. She falls into a coma, the baby is born. Rocky fights Apollo. Apollo destroys Rocky. Rocky fights back. Both fighters are beaten. Duke tells Apollo to dance around to secure the win. Apollo wants the knockout. Rocky hits Apollo. They both fall. Rocky gets up before the 10 count. Yo Adrian.

Really some of the greatest scenes in movie history. Although you gotta feel bad for Duke.




Well Moss didn't disappoint in his second go around either. In 1999, he caught 80 passes for 1,413 yards and 11 TDs. In 2 playoff games he racked up 315 yards and 3 TDs. He was also fined $25,000 for squirting a referee with a water bottle. If you watch the tape the guy does look thirsty. In the Pro Bowl he had 9 catches for a record 212 yards. I know the Pro Bowl is one of the jokes in pro sports, like: the WNBA, LPGA, X-Games, MLS, Phil Mickelson, Andy Reid, Dave Wannstedt, Kyle Orton's neck beard, white people in the NBA, no indian mascots, 3-man announcing booths, holds in baseball, ugly female reporters, Linda Cohn, The Decision, Cleveland, Philadelphis, $7 beers, and Versus, just to name a few.

In 2002, interim coach Mike Tice, infamous for getting busted for scalping his Super Bowl tickets, impletmented the Randy Ratio to the Vikings offensive system. This guy was an idiot, but this plan was actually smart. Why not get the ball in the hands of your best and highest paid player. Seems like a plan more people should incorporate. How 'bout it *cough* Todd Haley *cough*? Jamaal Charles could use a few more touches. Anyways the idea was to get Randy the ball 40% of the time. An assistant coach would stand on the sidelines during games and track how many times Moss had been thrown to, and then inform Tice of the percentages so that he is always aware of it. In the 2001 season, the Vikings record was 4–1 when Moss had 40% of the passes thrown his direction, and 1–10 in other games.

Also in 2002, in downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota, Moss was driving and was preparing to make an illegal turn. A female traffic control officer, I guess a glorified title for a crossing guard, noticing what he was about to do, stood in front of his car, ordering him to stop. Eyewitness accounts of the event differ at this point, but Moss did not comply with the officer's order, and she was bumped by his vehicle and fell to the ground. (I've seen female crossing guards, and it would take more than a little bump to knock them to the ground.) Moss was arrested, and a search of his vehicle revealed a small amount of marijuana. Initially charged with felony Suspicion of Assault with a Deadly Weapon and a misdemeanor marijuana possession, Moss pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor traffic violation and was ordered to pay a $1,200 fine and perform 40 hours of community service. (Controversy #4)

2003 was arguably his best season as a Viking. He became the second wide receiver in history ,behind Jerry Rice in 1995, to play more than 12 games while averaging over 100 yards and one touchdown per contest. He finished with 111 receptions for 1,632 yards and 17 touchdowns.

2004, his last in Minnesota until this past stint in Minnesota, started off with 8 TD in 5 games. A hamstring injury kept him for the first time in his career from reaching 1,000 yards. He still managed 13 TDs and did moon the Green Bay faithful (Controversy #5) so not all was lost. He was traded to Oakland in the offseason.

What happened?

Randy Moss: Oakland Raiders
Rocky: Rocky III

I'm not going to lie, I don't like Rocky III very much at all. Aside from Sly being ginormous, this movie was weak. First off Mr. T and Hulk Hogan were in it. I've never finished my WWF countdown, so you don't know my feelings on Hogan as of yet. Maybe someday. So Rocky's rich, has all the gadgets and toys, big house, car, wins meaningless title defense after title defense. Loses motivation, interest in fighting, and loses the sense of who he is and where he comes from. Weak.

Mickey has a heart attack during the Clubber fight. Rocky gets knocked out, loses his title. Mickey dies. Rocky gets depressed. Apollo and Duke want to train Rocky. The gayest sequence in movie history not taking place inside a tent on Brokeback Mountain, or in a Zac Efron movie, happens.



If I was alive in '82 when this film came out, I would have thought it was all over for Rocky. And really it should have been after this crap. But ol' Sly wasn't done just yet. He had one more trick up his sleeveless tank top.

Randy was on the Raiders, he didn't want to be on the Raiders, the Raiders sucked, he was often injured. That about somes it up. Oh yeah, he had a mummified man as an owner.

Don't Call it a Comeback:

Randy Moss: New England Patriots
Rocky: Rocky IV

What can you say about Rocky IV. It was the most important event of the '80s. Stallone single handedly ended the Cold War. Nukes? No let's settle this with our fists. If I can change. They must have realized how terrible Rocky III's training sequence was and decided to do something that is so awesome that even someone as jacked and awesome as Vin Diesel would look like a pussy.




Everyone knows the training sequence in Russia. Every American male has seen it and instantly got the urge to go workout. It's that inspiring. No words. Just raw emotion and steroids.




When Randy Moss got traded in 2007 to the Patriots for only a 4th rounder, everyone said it was a risky move, he wasn't the player he was in Minnesota, he was a cancer (no Charlie Villanueva, I'm not talking about you), everyone was worried except Moss, Belicheck, and Brady. Brady had been winning Super Bowl after Super Bowl with K-Mart brand receivers, but now he was finally getting a true #1. He immediately took to the team-first mentality and clicked with his teammates as the Patriots were 17-0 and headed to Super Bowl XLII. If not for the freak catch by David Tyree, which was spectacular, but wouldn't have been possible without Eli's Houdini like escape from the pocket, or Asante Samuel's impression of Ike Taylor, Moss would have gotten a ring. All in all the season wasn't a total bust. He did ok. 98 catches, 1,493, and an NFL record 23 receiving TDs.

In 2008 Moss resigned with New England to try and duplicate their record setting season. However, in the 1st quarter of Game 1, Brady went out for the season with a knee, and Moss had to deal with Matt Cassel for the entire year. But even with Cassel at QB, he still had 69 catches for 1,008 yards and 11 touchdowns.

2009 was supposed to be the year where Brady would return and everything would be 2007-like, it wasn't 2007, but it was still a year any receiver would give their left nut for. 83 receptions for 1,264 yards and 13 touchdowns. He also became #2 on the all-time receiving TDs list.


How quickly things can change:

Randy Moss: 2010
Rocky: Rocky V

Rocky V had a pre-AIDS Tommy Morrison starring. That should be enough. You go from saving the world from a nuclear holocaust, to this crap? Why Sly, Why?

Everyone knows the Moss story: He made fun of Brady's hair (well justified)and gets traded to Minnesota. He makes fun of the food at a restaurant and gets cut. Ok on a side note I like how ESPN defended the restaurant in their initial story. They said it was a favorite of long-time Vikings center Matt Birk. What the hell does that mean? Does he have a pallate of gold? Did he teach Bobby Flay how to cook? Is it just because he's fat, he knows food? Anyways, now he's in Tennessee.