How my first four fantasy football draft picks mirror Abram's decisions on RR/RW Challenge Cut-throat

As the calendar turns from fall to winter I mark the passage of time with the weeks of fantasy leagues and episodes of this season's Real World/Road Rules challenge "Cut-throat". I have a history of underperforming fantasy teams in every sport excluding golf and I have never been able to pinpoint the overall problem usually excusing my poor performance to factors that can't be controlled like injuries, bad matchups, or an unexplainable down year for a superstar that no one saw coming. I have never considered my fantasy teams as a prohibitive favorite, but for a guy who spends some time watching and reading about sports and has been playing for over a decade it is a bit perplexing when your team could be consistently beat by Coco the monkey throwing darts at a draft board. This same perplexing feeling can be translated to Abram's performance on the Real World/Road Rules challenges, where he is still searching for his first win. He is one of the best athletes in every cast and has an intensity that can only be matched by a select few of candidates (Derrick, CT). He also is not short on experience and is generally thought of as a stand up guy who is liked and more importantly respected by his fellow competitors. There always seems to be one thing missing that is hard to put your finger on for both Abe in challenges and myself in fantasy leagues; below are Abe's questionable decisions and motives (in order) through 7 episodes of Cut-throat and the similarities behind my horrid first four picks of a 12 man minus two fantasy football keeper league.

1) Abe continually hooking up with team member Cara-Marie beginning in episode 2 and my drafting Michael Turner in the first round pick #12. Both decisions are more cliché than the "after Prom" episode of any high school TV show and the outcomes are about as predictable as the Lions playing on the road. First for Abe's decision: hooking up with a girl on your own team is only going to compromise future decisions that you make throughout the competition and also hurt Abe in the individual competitions, as Abe went out of his way to protect and shield Cara-Marie. This makes you vulnerable, which is obvious to everyone on your own team and your competitors. When you haven't won a challenge on your own, it is twice as hard to combine with your un-athletic girlfriend to win. Drafting a second tier running back with a history of injuries and two years past his best season is equally as cliché and as easy to predict the outcome. Making matters worse is that Turner plays on a team with a young quarterback and great young receiver who are coming into their own together and a back-up RB who rightfully deserves carries. WR's like White, Jennings, and Calvin Johnson were all on the board making the Turner pick even more un-defensible and are all better options, much like match.com or any bar in the Czech republic would have been better options for Abe.

2) Abe sitting out the second competition to "coach" his team and my drafting Wes Welker in the fourth round. Both decisions scream out over thinking and a reliance on other players and both decisions were outright failures: Abe's team was lost without their best player competing. Even forcing T.J. Lavin to call out Abe's decision. Drafting Welker was also an example of over thinking with a fascination on points per reception and the thought that Moss would keep the coverage away from Welker and the Pat's offense would return to 08' form. Abe continued to reinforce the point that challenge cast members will not be mistaken for MIT grad students by making that decision and I reinforced the point that as much as ESPN wants to convince you that fantasy football drafting shouldn't be made into rocket science either. Without Moss commanding the attention of at least two DB's it is plain to see that any safety or nickel back can lock down a slow 5'8" slot receiver on a dink and dunk offense. As episode 2 and my season proved, the gray team without Abe and any fantasy team with Welker as more than a third WR or bench guy is destined for the same last place fate.

3) Abe voting to send Laurel and not Cara-Marie into the Gulag during episode #7 and my drafting Ryan Matthews in the second round with pick #15. Obviously the biggest mistake so far for Abe during the season and my biggest mistake of the year. Both decisions were questioned by the decision maker immediately with Abe declaring not to his teammates but to the camera that he was only keeping Cara-Marie due to their relationship and my senseless justifications for Matthews like the Chargers trading up for him and Norv's instance to make him a one back star. Both decisions leave major holes in both teams as Abe infuriated his best female teammate in Laurel, who is a self described monster and Amazon woman in her bio and causing a game changing split in his squad. As for my team it was plainly obvious after 5 weeks Matthews might not have it in him to dress on Sundays let only contribute to a winning fantasy team. Abe's future is still uncertain after his decision as Laurel naturally won her elimination Gulag and returns looking for revenge, and I hope for his sake that he has better luck with the consequences of his decision than I have had with mine. The Matthews pick eliminated my chance to compete and Cara-Maria in the final instead of Laurel will eliminate Abe's chance to win.

4) Abe's justification to his team that he voted Laurel into the Gulag based on performance and my drafting of Anquan Boldin in the third round as a franchise WR. Abe had a better chance convincing his teammates that their house is haunted than he did convincing them that he honestly believed Cara-Marie was a better competitor than Laurel. He should have been honest and said his vote was due to his relationship and that his teammates should just get over it if they want any chance to win the money. My justification should have been that I was hoping the Ravens would embrace Boldin for the stud WR he showed he was in Arizona even though this was equally as misguided as Abe's decision. The Ravens are more conservative than Glen Beck and would rather use Boldin as a glorified TE as they continue to want to play games where their defense has a great chance to out-score their offense weekly. The Ravens lost games (Falcons, Pats) and almost lost games (Cincy, Pgh) due to their reluctance to let Flacco air it out all game long with Boldin as the premier downfield weapon, but this is no excuse for my pick as I knew well before draft day that John Harabaugh is less imaginative than Marty Schottenheimer and the third best coach in his family. Both decisions were awful because both Abe and I knew the justifications for the decisions were worse than the actual decisions.

The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have a problem, Abe you still have hope. As for me at least I am homemade tattoo free. And there is always fantasy golf.