Season 3 Jersey Shore Winners/Losers

Season 3 of Jersey Shore debuted on January 6, 2011, which was before Auburn and Oregon played for the national title, at that time GB was on the outside of the NFL playoff picture, Crosby was healthy and on a record setting points pace, Charlie Sheen was mildly labeled a loose cannon, and Deron Williams and Jerry Sloan had Utah in a battle for home court in round 1 of the NBA playoffs. As you can see a lot has changed since this season's debut and after reading winner/losers columns for the past two weeks about the NBA and NHL trade deadlines I thought why not take the formula and apply it to this season at the Shore.

Winners:

MTV: This showed looked to be going nowhere fast when Italian American groups were protesting the network before it aired, but the premier of season 3 was the most watched MTV show of all time with 8.45 million viewers. Three subsequent episodes during the third season have passed the premier in viewership and the cable network more than competes with network programming during the Thursday night time slot. Even more impressive than being the most watched MTV show ever and in turn beating past MTV favorites like Yo MTV raps, Undressed, and My So Called life is the fact that Season 3 of the Shore has more viewers than the last season of Lost minus the series Finale.

Seaside Heights: Not only does the beach town and establishments gain notoriety by hosting this crew, but the cast and crew seem much more comfortable back in their home turf as opposed to on the road in Miami. The cast has spoken numerous times about how they feel at home on the Boardwalk and in the clubs and that comfort can be felt by the viewer as well. Just as Joe Namath will always be remembered as a Jet and Willie Mays as a Giant, this crew will never be more at home than in Seaside. Interacting with the Jersey locals especially in the club scene is reminiscent of early Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau collaborations.

Pauly: He is a combination of D-Rose and Kevin Love this season, both MVP and a guy putting up ridiculous numbers. Like Rose he is the glue that keeps this dysfunctional crew together and like Love he never misses a chance to outshine his cast mates. He steals scenes like John Cazale and I can't wait for his well deserved spin off show. Scenes of him cleaning his sneakers, playing a fake operator on the phone to one of Snooki's hook ups, making quick witted "Roger that" jokers while Jenni is on the phone breaking up with Tom, playing it cool when his stalker threw a drink in his face and then inviting her to the house to show no hard feelings, "T-shirt time", and "cabs are here" should all be on the best of Pauly season 3 DVD coming out soon. I know that DVD would outsell the Packers 2010-2011 season in review 2 to 1.

Domestic Violence Awareness: A line was most definitely crossed in two episodes this season, first when Sammi punches Ronnie in the jaw for befriending Jenni and then two episodes later when viewers witnessed Ronnie destroying all of Sammi's personal belongings and trying to throw her bed out on the porch with her on it. Ronnie should have spent that night in jail and seeing a seemingly normal girl like Sammi unable to free herself from this relationship was troubling, eye opening, and a teachable moment for young people watching. Hopefully watching the issues in their relationship build up to these incidents is a better example of what not to do for young people than any lecture by an adult or a made for TV movie. Speaking of made for TV movies, even one based on a true story like "No One Would Tell" starring Fred Savage and Candace Cameron seems too exaggerated and unrealistic and has a "that would never happen to me" like feel. If you haven't seen that movie, make a point to, but trust me you will never watch the Wonder Years the same after watching Fred Savage's performance as a high school murderer.

Girl Code: Fittingly round 2 between Jenni and Sammi happened in episode 2 of this season and then two things happened to bring these fierce rivals together Hogan/Macho Man style. First, Sammi got to see for herself what happened in Miami when MTV ran that season. She got to see how Jenni had her best intentions at heart with "the letter" and she saw that she was in the wrong and apologized to Jenni. Second, after the domestic violence incident the girls and Jenni in particular came to Sammi's defense and made their displeasure with Ronnie known to everyone in the house including Ronnie. Jenni packed up what was left of Sammi's belongings that Ronnie didn't destroy and reached out to her over the phone to show their support and solidarity. I have written in the past how I thought this feud would play out, but I was way off, score one for Girl Code.

Jenni's dogs and my Hard Drive: Tom, Jenni's boyfriend coming into this season found out what most NBA road playoff teams and most significant others of reality show participants also soon discover; you have very little chance of winning when you are the old "boy/girlfriend" left at home. The allure of Roger quickly won Jenni's heart and Tom moved out of Jenni's house back home. Once Jenni knew Tom had left she and Snooki headed inland to get the dogs and her other personal belongings. The dogs instantly become big winners when they are brought to the Shore house and go from a small residential home with Tom to a 3 story beach house with 7 people. I am sure that nap places increased exponentially for the dogs and someone is always cooking which leads to scraps and leftovers. A deck and walks on the beach are also major residual benefits. Stunningly, Jenni seemed most disturbed that Tom took her hard drive, not her jewelry, money, or furniture? I don't know what is on that hard drive, but I have been taking my computer security more seriously ever since.

Dean: Or maybe you know him as the Ronnie look alike, he looks exactly like him and has the same mannerisms. When Deena brought him home the boys immediately took him into Ronnie's room to try to see if Sammi would know if they switched places. Ronnie immediately knew who he was, that must have been how Drew Brees felt when Diego drafted Rivers. He doesn't make the winners list for hooking up with Deena, but with Ronnie being the cast member most likely to be booted; Dean has positioned himself as the natural replacement.

Vinnie's reputation as a ladies' man: He has a likable personality and comes across as genuine, hanging out with Pauly can't hurt either, but if you would have told me 12 months ago that Vinnie would be the cast member who is best with the ladies I would have said there is a better chance that I would be disappointed that a Ben Affleck written and directed movie didn't win Best Picture at the Oscars (The Town) or that I would be writing 2,000 words about this show. 3 for 3, so let's move on.

Grenade Whistle: Not only having one, but employing it often. Can't you just see the official Jersey Shore grenade whistle for only $19.99 being advertised at every souvenir shore in Jersey?

Losers:

Ronnie: If Pauly is the MVP, Ronnie is the LVP or what Ilya Kovalchuk is in the NHL or Andrew Bogut is in the NBA. "Fun" Ronnie has been replaced by loner relationship Ronnie, depressed Ronnie, or crazy Ronnie depending on the episode this season. As I mentioned earlier his domestic incident should have earned him a night in jail and his abrupt mood swings mixed with alcohol fueled binges should be incorporated into the "what not to do" section of the steroid cycle. At his most stable this season he had to visit the proctologist, which isn't the most riveting TV, and most of his story arcs seem like they are leading up to an Intervention.

Interventions: Wouldn't a Ronnie intervention be the most priceless TV moment since Kramer moved to Del Boca Vista? Move over Miami Heat, a Jersey Shore meets Celebrity Rehab meets Intervention would be the ultimate big 3. We have already seen Ronnie's friends and father visit him and encourage him to stay; all that is left is to rent out Karma and get the "Your addiction has affected me negatively in the following ways" letters out (Snooki and Ron's dad are even money favorites to have the funniest letters). You can't convince me that an episode titled "Ronnie's Intervention" would get over 10 million viewers.

Sammi's long term emotional state: She was wrong when she punched Ronnie and she did the right thing when she left and went home to her mother and sister and get away from this dysfunctional relationship. She seems like she has a great support system, but coming back and living in the same house as Ron has to make things even crazier. Hopefully she can move from this relationship to something healthy, but it is going to be quite a ride, sort of like a two minute drill with Andy Reid and Michael Vick.

Guy Code: Ronnie was incensed that Mike supposedly broke it in Miami by ratting him out to Sam; it took a confrontation for Mike to apologize. Mike tried to hook up with Pauly's ex at a club, a clear violation. Mike and Vinnie seem to go after the same girls even when they are back at their house, and Mike felt the code had been broken when the other 3 guys left him home when they went out to dinner.

Snooki's hook-up's, adding her friend Deena to the cast, and being a good person : I admit like TNT drama's I don't' get the allure of Snooki, is it her great personality, her brains, her look, her inability to remember your name? Couple that with the fact that her two guys this season are related and I am even more confused. Deena's contributions to the season are unknowingly getting naked in the first episode, hooking up with Ronnie's look alike and regularly getting kicked out of clubs 5 minutes after arriving. All things the show could live without, especially when she has the same personality as Snooki. Maybe most troubling to the general public is the fact that continuing to repeat the phrase "I am a good person" will not keep you from getting arrested when you are so drunk that you can't stand at noon on a weekday in public.

Cleanliness: A 7 person beach house where someone always seems to be cooking, a guest room only used for hooking up, Snooki's slippers, two dogs, and a toilet that has been clogged for a couple of weeks is a recipe that would make Billy Corgan's stomach turn. Leaving the toilet clogged for weeks has to be the worst when a 30 minute appearance of any cast member would generate a fee that would cover a complete plumbing overhaul for the entire house. The plumber who eventually had to fix that toilet was the biggest loser in this situation this side of NBC.

Season 4 in Italy: Going back to Jersey has made season the best season to date and I am afraid that going to Italy will make this show unwatchable. There is a BJ Raji like difference between Italian Americans/want to be Italian Americans and actual Italians who live in Italy, and I am afraid we are going to realize that immediately after the first few episodes of the cultural shock that next season has in store. The best analogy I can think of is Baron Davis, the talented and temperamental point guard was at his best with the Golden State Warriors from '05 to'08. After the '08 season he left Golden State for the big money of LA and has looked out of place ever since. At the time it looked like a bad decision and looks even worse in hindsight today. He was meant to wear a Warrior jersey and seeing him miscast somewhere else just makes me sad, this crew was meant for the Jersey Shore or at the very least this country. I have a feeling I will be just as sad watching season 4 in Italy as I am watching Baron rack up DNP coaches decisions in Cleveland.

Pauly's stalker: She doesn't make the list for throwing the drink in his face, but there are few worse nicknames than this one.