It’s the first week of October. My favorite football team is looking like the best in the league by most accounts. My keeper fantasy squad is showing promise, not only this year, but for years to come. This is the best time of the year weather-wise in San Diego; the average high temperature ranges from 71-74 degrees and the forecast fluctuates between mostly sunny and sunny. But the thing I’m looking forward to most: The start of the NBA Season.
This has to be the most anticipated season ever. Think about all the storylines. The new big three in Miami. Carmelo doing everything he can to force a trade without blatantly asking for one. Shaq Diesel signing with Boston and refusing to walk off into the sunset. The new big three in Miami. Kobe and Phil reloading and going for another three-peat. Kevin Durant coming off the most impressive individual performance since Jamie Foxx in Ray at the Worlds this summer. The new big three in Miami. Seeing if Amare can rekindle the magic with D’Antoni but without Steve Nash (I’m not optimistic). Trying to figure out what is going on inside Maverick Carter’s head. Ron Artest possibly understanding what constitutes an European country. (Artest says that the entire Spurs team is made up of European players. Actual European players on the Spurs roster: 1.) The new big three in Miami. Russian Millionaire Prokhorov throwing money into the Nets franchise. Next year’s lockout looming over everything. And, in case you spaced out the first few times: the new big three in Miami.
Really, the Miami Heat are going to be like nothing we have ever seen. And I’m not talking about their actual on-court play. Sure that’s going to be fantastic television, but I’m talking more about the hype that surrounds them. What percentage of their games this year are going to be the top story on SportsCenter? 85%? 90%? I don’t care if it’s a midweek 50 point blowout in Minnesota. There’s going to have to be another Tiger Woods-Escalade-level news story to push it past the first commercial break. And I’ll sit on my couch in amazement watching every highlight.
When Lebron first announced he was taking his talents to South Beach, the majority of people believed that he was going to play second star to Dwayne Wade. Wade’s been there for 7 years. He already won a title there. And he’s been the best player in any sport in Miami since Dan Marino. As the summer has gone on, I realized that initial belief isn’t true. While Lebron may play second option to Wade, he’s not going to be a second star to anyone.
In the four months since The Decision, Lebron has transformed into the most polarizing figure in the sports. He’s a villain now. Think about that. In one summer, he went from the most popular, most beloved, most commercially viable NBA player since Jordan to an absolute villain. And he didn’t cheat on his wife, use steroids, punch a fan, or use the race card (Oh wait...never mind about that last one.) It all came down to two things: 1) He has the worst PR team of any public figure ever and 2) He began to refer to himself in the third person (the same reason I never respected Ricky Henderson).
Part of me hopes that he embraces his new role. I don’t understand why no one ever does this. (Bill Simmons first pointed this out about Tiger) Just channel his inner Kenny Powers and say, “F#$% it, you guys all hate me. That’s fine. I’m rich and better at basketball than you are at anything. Why the hell would I care what you think of me?” And really, his PR team seems to be bad enough that they might actually suggest this for him. I mean, his manager was not only sitting right beside him when Lebron played the race card last week, he actually elaborated on it for him. But eventually, someone will get to him (by someone, I mean David Stern) and explain how much money he will be losing in possible endorsements and Lebron will start the long path the public redemption. And that’s why I’m here. To make a guide for Lebron to follow as he tries to reach salvation from third-person-itis.
There are four steps:
1) Save the dunk contest. Lebron has said he would enter in the past but has backed out when the time came to submit his name. The main reason: He jumps too powerfully to do tricks. Visual proof of what I mean:
If he tries to do a 360, he’ll hit his head off the rim by the time he gets to 180. But there are ways to use this to your advantage in a dunk contest. Here’s what I would do if I was 6’9, 260 pounds, and could jump like Lebron.
Dunk 1 - The windmill of all windmills - He’ll have the advantage of hype going into his first dunk, so he can afford to do a relatively simple dunk, as long as he does it well.
Dunk 2 - Steal Dwight Howard’s “High Hoop” dunk - Howard raised the hoop to 12 feet in his second dunk contest. It was a great idea. The problem was that, even at 12 feet, it was too easy for him. It just didn’t look that impressive. So Lebron has to practice this ahead of time to find out the perfect height (the height that he has to stretch every muscle to reach).
Dunk 3 - Foul Line Dunk - And by this, I mean an actual foul line dunk. Not from a foot inside the line, not with your toe on the line, but leaving the ground without touching any of the paint. You know Lebron can do this with ease if he gets a running start.
Dunk 4 - Dunk over a life-size cardboard cut-out of Charles Barkley - He would have to play up the drama. Talk trash with Barkley after his first few dunks. Have a sheet covering the cut-out as he brings it on the court and have Barkley’s fave five friend, Wade, remove it as Lebron gets ready. You can’t tell me that TNT wouldn’t eat this up.
2) Accept the facilitator role and try for a triple double average. Lebron’s game is closer to Magic Johnson than Kobe Bryant. He was only asked to be a dominant scorer in Cleveland because...well, who else was going to score? And he did an amazing job while he was there. He is third all-time in career points per game with 27.8, so obviously he can score if he is forced to. But now that he has stars around him, he can play a more natural position of point forward. Think about Lebron running the point with Wade, Mike Miller, Bosh, and Haslem (or pretty much any other human being). He’ll average an easy 22-10-12. As his points decrease and his assists increase, suddenly the public will realize how unselfish of a move it was to give up individual scoring titles to win NBA titles.
3) Apologize to Cleveland. His relationship with Cleveland was basically the script of She’s All That with a more realistic ending. The popular guy asks the plain, beautiful-on-the-inside loner to the prom on a bet. The more they hang out, the more they realize they’re made for each other. As prom night approaches, she thinks they may spend the rest of their lives in each other’s arms. At the prom, Freddie Prince Jr. (Lebron) is announced as prom king and struts on stage to give his speech. This is where the realistic part of the script kicks in. He announces that he has found the love of his life and she is in the audience tonight. As he scans the crowd, he makes eye contact with his date and smiles. “She’s right there,” as he points in her direction. The girl yells out, “I love you too!” Freddie Prince smirks “No, no, no, not you. I was talking about her,” and he points to the hot blonde right behind her.
Freddie Prince broke her heart in front of everyone they know. Lebron broke Cleveland’s heart in front of everyone with a TV. The public always sides with the broken hearted. So, Lebron has to swallow his pride and write a letter of apology to Cleveland as a whole (he can leave out Dan Gilbert if he wants). Cleveland almost certainly won’t accept his apology, but the rest of America will recognize the remorse.
4) Win Championships. TItles make everyone forget about the past. Case in point: Kobe Bryant.
So there you go, Lebron. It only took you three months to ruin your image. If you follow these simple steps, you can redeem yourself within the next nine months.
Showing posts with label LeBron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LeBron. Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
LeBron-Voyage Cleveland
It's over, it's finally over. After months of speculation, non-stop coverage on sports channels, and a 1-hour television special LeBron James is finally a member of the Miami Heat.
I agree that the t.v. special was absolutely ridiculous. 100% ubsurd. No other athlete gets that coverage. .
I do, however, feel that LeBron wasn't the mastermind behind this coverage. ESPN probably called him up, offered him some sort of figure that started with a 1 and was followed by a trail of the number of NBA titles he has won, made a donation to The Boys and Girls Club, and sold ad space for a ridiculous amount. How couldn't ESPN make money off of this. The LeBron dealings are all that we have be force fed for weeks. Every male in the U.S. had their opinion on where he was going to go, or stay. Every guy, NBA fans or not, was ready to hear the announcement. At 9 p.m. last night, all of those guys had their dials turned to ESPN. Advertising heaven.
Not that I need to tell you, but James joins Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to become as formidable a trio as the league has ever seen. The Heat decided their best bet to win a championship was to employ what is becoming known as the Celtics' model. Bring in 3 stars, ie Garnett, Allen, Pierce in Boston, and hope to surround them with servicable people around them.
Yes, while the idea of one team having James, Wade, and Bosh seems like being in a fantasy league where one guy has two teams and trades with himself, you have to remember there is not much wiggle room to mold a roster to support these guys.
After last night, Miami is looking like a favorite to win the East, but currently they only have Mario Chalmers under contract.
To create some financial space, the Heat shipped the #2 pick in '08, Michael Beasley, the man with more personality issues than the WWF's Mick Foley, to the T-Wolves for a 2nd round pick. The Heat basically get nothing but Beasley off their books, and the T-Wolves get a young forward who allows them the ability to shop Al Jefferson.
As it stands right now, once the contracts of the Big 3 are signed, the Heat roster looks slimmer than the Olsen twins at a casting call for a remake of Ally McBeal.
Looks like Uncle Jesse and Joey burnt the spaghetti again.
The Heat are still going to need a few guards, a center, and some big bodies to bang with Dwight Howard if they hope to win the East, because there is no way Bosh's body-type can handle the amount of abuse it will take as the only big man. The free-agent talent pool is shallow and Pat Riley and the Heat don't have much money to work with.
The Celts were lucky to land Eddie House and James Posey for small contracts, and I'm sure that some NBA vets will look at the situation in Miami; living in South Beach, playing with LeBron, D-Wade, and Bosh, and say to himself, yeah that works for me, give me $1 mil and we have ourselves a deal. That is going to happen, but who is even out there?
Allen Iverson? T-Mac? Mike Miller? Larry Hughes? Jason Williams? Mike James? Shaq?Matt Bonner? Rafer Alston? Matt Barnes? Devean George? Juwan Howard? Brad Miller? Joe Smith? Ben Wallace?
I mean there might be some servicable guys on the market, certainly a few of them will take a cut to play with Team USA in Miami, but will it be enough to make a sustained run to a title?
Don't get me wrong, I like the chances for the Heat to win the East, even with guys like Adam Morrison, Eric Devendorf, and Chris Taft, but do they have enough to get past the Lake Show? That is the question.
No question James and Wade, all-stars on the list for guys with first names for lasts, make up the best duo that we have seen since Budnick and Donkey Lips terrorized Camp Anawanna on Salute Your Shorts.
It's going to come down to how they share the responsibilities in Miami. I'm not sure we have seen an alpha-dog situation like this before. Two players, in the primes of their careers, programmed to carry average teams solely on their backs, while playing a physically demanding style of game. Both, in the past, were forced to be Mr. Clutch, forced to carry the team in crunch time, and forced to be the SuperStar that he is. How will this mash? They did a pretty good job in the Olympics in China, but that was for a short period of time, how will that translate over an entire season.
Now how good would that Slam Dunk Contest between James and Wade be? Teammates and Rivals, think of the marketing possibilities.
With the additions of Bosh and James, the Heat now have 3 of the top-5 picks from the 2003 draft. A draft that has produced some really servicable players.
1. LeBron James - Cleveland
2. Darko Milicic - Detroit. Think Motor City would like a re-do?
3. Carmelo Anthony - Denver
4. Chris Bosh - Toronto
5. Dwayne Wade - Miami
6. Chris Kamen - LA Clippers
7. Kirk Hinrich - Chicago
18. David West - New Orleans
21. Boris Diaw - Atlanta
23. Travis Outlaw - Portland
27. Kendrick Perkins - Memphis
29. Josh Howard - Dallas
47. Mo Williams - Utah
I can't blame LeBron for leaving Cleveland. I really can't. He did everything he could for that city for the past 7 years, and they should be grateful that they actually had a sports team that they could cheer for. Of course he fell short of bring a championship to Northeast Ohio, but it is not entirely his fault. He made the team competitive, single-handedly. He produced game in and game out. He won 2 MVPs, what more can you ask for.
The team and coaching staff surrounding James while in Cleveland was pathetic. Mike Brown could actually do the unfathomable and coach A.C. Slater to a loss against Vally.
There was no way a team with Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison as the second and third fiddles were going to win a championship. Year in and year out, Cleveland did nothing to help improve their team. Bring in Shaq? Yeah good try. With the talent on the market this off season, they still did not bring anybody in that could shoulder the load when James had a rare off night. They wanted the James to do all the work, carry the team to a championship with average players. Not going to happen in today's game. A consistant and reliable second option is a necessity.
Then the owner of the Cavs comes out and says that Cleveland will win a championship before James will. My question is With Who? For your sake Dan Gilbert I hope you enjoy your lottery picks the next 5 seasons. Maybe the combination of those 5 will equal the greatness of LBJ. Gilbert, who has berated LeBron after his decision to go to the Heat, is acting like a spoiled brat who didn't get that new pony for Christmas. Well Danny Boy if you would have actually given LeBron people to play with then maybe he would have felt he had a chance of winning with the Cavs. Like LeBron said he doesn't want to be a 31-year-old with bad knees and no titles.
Then there is the rumored sexual affair between LeBron's mom and his former Cleveland teammate Delonte West. True or not, how could LeBron wanted to share a lockerroom with that scum bag. Look at West, he is opitome of scum, and for LeBron to think that there was even a chance that his mom, Gloria, was sharing a bed with him; now that is unexcusable. Once this rumor arose, Cleveland should have sent West packing. He has had is off-court issues in the past, so this wouldn't have been unwarrented.
For future reference Cleveland, assuming you will still have franchises by the time you get another star, you need to cater to your star athletes. Make them feel comfortable, give them a supporting cast not a group of players from the Island of Misfit Toys. And for heaven's sake, if one of your players is rumored to be having a sexual relationship with your star's mother, ship that clown out of town.
On a side note, when I googled Delonte West, an ad for Herpes treatment appeared. Thought that seemed about right.
Other NBA free-agent signings:
New York Knicks: Amar'e Stoudemire 5 years $100 million; Anthony Randolph, Kelenna Azubuike, Ronny Turiaf via trade from Golden State.
A guy with a bad eye, bad knee, and a questionable relationship with the head coach, not a recipe that, to me, should add up to $100 million. But if he can follow through on his promise to bring Melo and Tony Parker to NYC, then it might just be worth it. Couldn't imagine how good Parker would be in a D'antoni offense.
Stoudemire plays the same position as David Lee, so New York shipped their best player, Lee, to Golden State for Randolph, Azubuike and Turiaf. Lee will once again toil in mediocrity. His talents might never get to be fully displayed on a winning team.
Chicago Bulls: Carlos Boozer 5 years $75 million
Especially with Boozer in place, I thought this was the place LeBron needed to go to win a championship. It had all the pieces necessary to win right now. The Bulls already have a point guard, Derrick Rose, who is ready to soar into Superstardom, a hustling, rebounding, defensive machine in clown-boy Joakim Noah, think Anderson Varejao times 5.
With Boozer in place that is another 10+ boards per game guy, who is a legitimate 2nd scoring option and low-post presence, that LeBron has never gotten to play with. Throw in Deng as your fifth starter and that is a heck of a team. A team poised to win now.
Even without LBJ, the Bulls should be able to make a nice run in the East. Boozer, Rose and Noah are not comparable to James, Wade, and Bosh, but they do have a much better supporting cast.
Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki 4 years $80 million, Brenden Haywood 6 years $55 million
The Mavs were able to sign two 7-footers but that is about all they have in common.
Dirk did the noble thing and stayed in Dallas. Although, I don't believe there was much threat of him leaving anyways. He didn't take the max amount which would have been around $96 million, and allowed Dallas some extra money to spend. He is the best player in franchise history and I'm sure he will retire a Mav.
Haywood is another try at getting the all-ellusive center for the Mavs. They have wasted millions upon millions of dollars on 7-footers like Erick Dampier and DJ Mbenga, but have never found a center that was useful.
Hey Mark Cuban, I hear Shaq is a free agent. He will be glad to take a few million dollars off of your hands.
Boston Celtics: Paul Pierce 4 years $61 million ; Ray Allen 2 years $20 million, Jermaine O'Neal 2 years $11.5 million
Good re-signs of Pierce and Allen. Both are in the twilights of their careers, but as they proved this past Spring, they might just have a little juice left in the tank.
O'Neal is a puzzling signing. He is also old, after finishing his 14th NBA season, but the Celts got him for a lot less than the $23 million he was making last year, but I guess he is a replacement for the injured Perkins and lethargic Rasheed Wallace, who was lazier than Stu Scott's eye.
Atlanta Hawks: Joe Johnson 6 years $123.7 million
Yeah great Atlanta, you got one of the top free agents on the market. Too bad he isn't even in the same stratosphere as James and Wade. This was a no-brainer for Johnson. Where else was he going to get that kind of money. Plus he doesn't have to pack up his things and move to a new city. 6 more years of Lil' Jon and Jermaine Dupuis.
Yes, Atlanta, he was your best player for the past few seasons and led your team to the playoffs, but if you remember this past Spring when you got swept. Yeah so good luck with that.
LA Lakers: Steve Blake 4 years $16 million
Obviously they think this was it for Derek Fisher. I'm assuming Blake would be the starter, since he has held that role before, and Farmar will remain the back-up. Fish had a great career, I'd like to see him catch on with a team if the Lake Show decided not to keep him. He has been an intregal part of all of Kobe's championships, that is why LA reached out and brought him back to LA from his hiatis to Utah and Golden State.
Not to mention he was part of the wildest finish I have ever seen in an NBA game.
Memphis Grizzlies: Rudy Gay 5 years $82 million
Another no brainer. Gay had to take this deal, had to. $82 mil is no joke for a young player who will never reach superstar status. The Grizz have a chance to be decent with Gay and Marc Gasol for a couple years, but don't you think they wish they got a little more in the Pau Gasol trade.
Phoenix Suns: Channing Frye $30 million; Hakim Warrick 4 years $18 million
Again Steve Nash will have to work his magic to make this team competitive. No wonder Steve Kerr quit.
Milwaukee Bucks: John Salmons 5 years $40 million; Drew Gooden 5 years $32 million
The Bucks were actually a competitive team last season, and showed glimpses of the potential they have for the future. If Bogut can stay healthy they might challenge for home-court in the first round of the playoffs.
Salmons has been a big part of teams' turn-arounds the past few years as a trade deadline acquistion, and deserves this pretty decent sized contract. Now the Lou Albano wannabe can decorate his goatee with diamonds.
Geez, Drew Gooden has made a boatload of money in the NBA for basically doing nothing. I can't remember a memorable season that he's had, but it seems I always see his name flash across the sports ticker after signing for millions of dollars. To be tall.
Well now is the time to rob a bank in Cleveland. All the police will be busy watching the bridges for jumpers now that the biggest name in the Cleveland sports lexicon is Jake Delhomme.
I agree that the t.v. special was absolutely ridiculous. 100% ubsurd. No other athlete gets that coverage. .
I do, however, feel that LeBron wasn't the mastermind behind this coverage. ESPN probably called him up, offered him some sort of figure that started with a 1 and was followed by a trail of the number of NBA titles he has won, made a donation to The Boys and Girls Club, and sold ad space for a ridiculous amount. How couldn't ESPN make money off of this. The LeBron dealings are all that we have be force fed for weeks. Every male in the U.S. had their opinion on where he was going to go, or stay. Every guy, NBA fans or not, was ready to hear the announcement. At 9 p.m. last night, all of those guys had their dials turned to ESPN. Advertising heaven.
Not that I need to tell you, but James joins Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to become as formidable a trio as the league has ever seen. The Heat decided their best bet to win a championship was to employ what is becoming known as the Celtics' model. Bring in 3 stars, ie Garnett, Allen, Pierce in Boston, and hope to surround them with servicable people around them.
Yes, while the idea of one team having James, Wade, and Bosh seems like being in a fantasy league where one guy has two teams and trades with himself, you have to remember there is not much wiggle room to mold a roster to support these guys.
After last night, Miami is looking like a favorite to win the East, but currently they only have Mario Chalmers under contract.
To create some financial space, the Heat shipped the #2 pick in '08, Michael Beasley, the man with more personality issues than the WWF's Mick Foley, to the T-Wolves for a 2nd round pick. The Heat basically get nothing but Beasley off their books, and the T-Wolves get a young forward who allows them the ability to shop Al Jefferson.
As it stands right now, once the contracts of the Big 3 are signed, the Heat roster looks slimmer than the Olsen twins at a casting call for a remake of Ally McBeal.
Looks like Uncle Jesse and Joey burnt the spaghetti again.
The Heat are still going to need a few guards, a center, and some big bodies to bang with Dwight Howard if they hope to win the East, because there is no way Bosh's body-type can handle the amount of abuse it will take as the only big man. The free-agent talent pool is shallow and Pat Riley and the Heat don't have much money to work with.
The Celts were lucky to land Eddie House and James Posey for small contracts, and I'm sure that some NBA vets will look at the situation in Miami; living in South Beach, playing with LeBron, D-Wade, and Bosh, and say to himself, yeah that works for me, give me $1 mil and we have ourselves a deal. That is going to happen, but who is even out there?
Allen Iverson? T-Mac? Mike Miller? Larry Hughes? Jason Williams? Mike James? Shaq?Matt Bonner? Rafer Alston? Matt Barnes? Devean George? Juwan Howard? Brad Miller? Joe Smith? Ben Wallace?
I mean there might be some servicable guys on the market, certainly a few of them will take a cut to play with Team USA in Miami, but will it be enough to make a sustained run to a title?
Don't get me wrong, I like the chances for the Heat to win the East, even with guys like Adam Morrison, Eric Devendorf, and Chris Taft, but do they have enough to get past the Lake Show? That is the question.
No question James and Wade, all-stars on the list for guys with first names for lasts, make up the best duo that we have seen since Budnick and Donkey Lips terrorized Camp Anawanna on Salute Your Shorts.
It's going to come down to how they share the responsibilities in Miami. I'm not sure we have seen an alpha-dog situation like this before. Two players, in the primes of their careers, programmed to carry average teams solely on their backs, while playing a physically demanding style of game. Both, in the past, were forced to be Mr. Clutch, forced to carry the team in crunch time, and forced to be the SuperStar that he is. How will this mash? They did a pretty good job in the Olympics in China, but that was for a short period of time, how will that translate over an entire season.
Now how good would that Slam Dunk Contest between James and Wade be? Teammates and Rivals, think of the marketing possibilities.
With the additions of Bosh and James, the Heat now have 3 of the top-5 picks from the 2003 draft. A draft that has produced some really servicable players.
1. LeBron James - Cleveland
2. Darko Milicic - Detroit. Think Motor City would like a re-do?
3. Carmelo Anthony - Denver
4. Chris Bosh - Toronto
5. Dwayne Wade - Miami
6. Chris Kamen - LA Clippers
7. Kirk Hinrich - Chicago
18. David West - New Orleans
21. Boris Diaw - Atlanta
23. Travis Outlaw - Portland
27. Kendrick Perkins - Memphis
29. Josh Howard - Dallas
47. Mo Williams - Utah
I can't blame LeBron for leaving Cleveland. I really can't. He did everything he could for that city for the past 7 years, and they should be grateful that they actually had a sports team that they could cheer for. Of course he fell short of bring a championship to Northeast Ohio, but it is not entirely his fault. He made the team competitive, single-handedly. He produced game in and game out. He won 2 MVPs, what more can you ask for.
The team and coaching staff surrounding James while in Cleveland was pathetic. Mike Brown could actually do the unfathomable and coach A.C. Slater to a loss against Vally.
There was no way a team with Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison as the second and third fiddles were going to win a championship. Year in and year out, Cleveland did nothing to help improve their team. Bring in Shaq? Yeah good try. With the talent on the market this off season, they still did not bring anybody in that could shoulder the load when James had a rare off night. They wanted the James to do all the work, carry the team to a championship with average players. Not going to happen in today's game. A consistant and reliable second option is a necessity.
Then the owner of the Cavs comes out and says that Cleveland will win a championship before James will. My question is With Who? For your sake Dan Gilbert I hope you enjoy your lottery picks the next 5 seasons. Maybe the combination of those 5 will equal the greatness of LBJ. Gilbert, who has berated LeBron after his decision to go to the Heat, is acting like a spoiled brat who didn't get that new pony for Christmas. Well Danny Boy if you would have actually given LeBron people to play with then maybe he would have felt he had a chance of winning with the Cavs. Like LeBron said he doesn't want to be a 31-year-old with bad knees and no titles.
Then there is the rumored sexual affair between LeBron's mom and his former Cleveland teammate Delonte West. True or not, how could LeBron wanted to share a lockerroom with that scum bag. Look at West, he is opitome of scum, and for LeBron to think that there was even a chance that his mom, Gloria, was sharing a bed with him; now that is unexcusable. Once this rumor arose, Cleveland should have sent West packing. He has had is off-court issues in the past, so this wouldn't have been unwarrented.
For future reference Cleveland, assuming you will still have franchises by the time you get another star, you need to cater to your star athletes. Make them feel comfortable, give them a supporting cast not a group of players from the Island of Misfit Toys. And for heaven's sake, if one of your players is rumored to be having a sexual relationship with your star's mother, ship that clown out of town.
On a side note, when I googled Delonte West, an ad for Herpes treatment appeared. Thought that seemed about right.
Other NBA free-agent signings:
New York Knicks: Amar'e Stoudemire 5 years $100 million; Anthony Randolph, Kelenna Azubuike, Ronny Turiaf via trade from Golden State.
A guy with a bad eye, bad knee, and a questionable relationship with the head coach, not a recipe that, to me, should add up to $100 million. But if he can follow through on his promise to bring Melo and Tony Parker to NYC, then it might just be worth it. Couldn't imagine how good Parker would be in a D'antoni offense.
Stoudemire plays the same position as David Lee, so New York shipped their best player, Lee, to Golden State for Randolph, Azubuike and Turiaf. Lee will once again toil in mediocrity. His talents might never get to be fully displayed on a winning team.
Chicago Bulls: Carlos Boozer 5 years $75 million
Especially with Boozer in place, I thought this was the place LeBron needed to go to win a championship. It had all the pieces necessary to win right now. The Bulls already have a point guard, Derrick Rose, who is ready to soar into Superstardom, a hustling, rebounding, defensive machine in clown-boy Joakim Noah, think Anderson Varejao times 5.
With Boozer in place that is another 10+ boards per game guy, who is a legitimate 2nd scoring option and low-post presence, that LeBron has never gotten to play with. Throw in Deng as your fifth starter and that is a heck of a team. A team poised to win now.
Even without LBJ, the Bulls should be able to make a nice run in the East. Boozer, Rose and Noah are not comparable to James, Wade, and Bosh, but they do have a much better supporting cast.
Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki 4 years $80 million, Brenden Haywood 6 years $55 million
The Mavs were able to sign two 7-footers but that is about all they have in common.
Dirk did the noble thing and stayed in Dallas. Although, I don't believe there was much threat of him leaving anyways. He didn't take the max amount which would have been around $96 million, and allowed Dallas some extra money to spend. He is the best player in franchise history and I'm sure he will retire a Mav.
Haywood is another try at getting the all-ellusive center for the Mavs. They have wasted millions upon millions of dollars on 7-footers like Erick Dampier and DJ Mbenga, but have never found a center that was useful.
Hey Mark Cuban, I hear Shaq is a free agent. He will be glad to take a few million dollars off of your hands.
Boston Celtics: Paul Pierce 4 years $61 million ; Ray Allen 2 years $20 million, Jermaine O'Neal 2 years $11.5 million
Good re-signs of Pierce and Allen. Both are in the twilights of their careers, but as they proved this past Spring, they might just have a little juice left in the tank.
O'Neal is a puzzling signing. He is also old, after finishing his 14th NBA season, but the Celts got him for a lot less than the $23 million he was making last year, but I guess he is a replacement for the injured Perkins and lethargic Rasheed Wallace, who was lazier than Stu Scott's eye.
Atlanta Hawks: Joe Johnson 6 years $123.7 million
Yeah great Atlanta, you got one of the top free agents on the market. Too bad he isn't even in the same stratosphere as James and Wade. This was a no-brainer for Johnson. Where else was he going to get that kind of money. Plus he doesn't have to pack up his things and move to a new city. 6 more years of Lil' Jon and Jermaine Dupuis.
Yes, Atlanta, he was your best player for the past few seasons and led your team to the playoffs, but if you remember this past Spring when you got swept. Yeah so good luck with that.
LA Lakers: Steve Blake 4 years $16 million
Obviously they think this was it for Derek Fisher. I'm assuming Blake would be the starter, since he has held that role before, and Farmar will remain the back-up. Fish had a great career, I'd like to see him catch on with a team if the Lake Show decided not to keep him. He has been an intregal part of all of Kobe's championships, that is why LA reached out and brought him back to LA from his hiatis to Utah and Golden State.
Not to mention he was part of the wildest finish I have ever seen in an NBA game.
Memphis Grizzlies: Rudy Gay 5 years $82 million
Another no brainer. Gay had to take this deal, had to. $82 mil is no joke for a young player who will never reach superstar status. The Grizz have a chance to be decent with Gay and Marc Gasol for a couple years, but don't you think they wish they got a little more in the Pau Gasol trade.
Phoenix Suns: Channing Frye $30 million; Hakim Warrick 4 years $18 million
Again Steve Nash will have to work his magic to make this team competitive. No wonder Steve Kerr quit.
Milwaukee Bucks: John Salmons 5 years $40 million; Drew Gooden 5 years $32 million
The Bucks were actually a competitive team last season, and showed glimpses of the potential they have for the future. If Bogut can stay healthy they might challenge for home-court in the first round of the playoffs.
Salmons has been a big part of teams' turn-arounds the past few years as a trade deadline acquistion, and deserves this pretty decent sized contract. Now the Lou Albano wannabe can decorate his goatee with diamonds.
Geez, Drew Gooden has made a boatload of money in the NBA for basically doing nothing. I can't remember a memorable season that he's had, but it seems I always see his name flash across the sports ticker after signing for millions of dollars. To be tall.
Well now is the time to rob a bank in Cleveland. All the police will be busy watching the bridges for jumpers now that the biggest name in the Cleveland sports lexicon is Jake Delhomme.
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